Those Deserving of a Sound Cockpunch

(In no exact order)

BONO!!
Carrot Top, Scott Stapp, Jared of Subway, The "Zoom-Zoom" Mazda kid (after his nuts drop, of course), that drunken ass in front of Tom @ Ozzfest, Ray, Fred Durst, The Bush Baked Bean guy - and his mutt, Mancow, Regis Muthafuckin' Philbin, Jay Mariotti, Bill Wirtz, Promise Keepers, OJ Simpson and his defense attorneys, Osama bin Laden, Joey Belladonna, anyone who has ever worn a leather jacket of a color besides brown or black, ALL Nazis and KKK jackasses, for that matter anyone who believes in any sort of racism whatsoever (reverse racism is still racism), Hallmark, James Hetfield, Mike McKaskey, people who yell on their cellphones, Saddam Hussein, George W. Bush (may they rot in cells beside each other), most guys under 25, Sonny, parents who try to reason with screaming infants, Earth Firsters, Tom Clymer, any man claiming to be a feminist, animal abusers, people who bring children under six to a movie - especially an R-rated movie, abusive parents, Jehovah's Witnesses - get off of my stoop! Jesse Helms, Siefried (but not Roy. He's all right), Pauly Shore, John Hussmann, P-Puff-Diddly-Doofus - or whatever he's calling himself this week, anyone selling water for more than $2 a bottle - and the fools supporting this by buying it! Nicholas Cage, CEO's, Trent Reznor, Darryl Strawberry, Gavin Rossdale (Gwen is mine, dammit!), that one motherfucker responsible for the assembly of boy bands, Bono (twice), Crazy Town, henpecked jerkwads, Bryant Gumbel, One-Eyed Larry Walker, Marcos, politically correct assholes - thanks for the walls between us; divided we...how's that go again? Norm MacDonald, Wyclef Jean, anyone wearing a visor upside down and backwards - or a ballcap with the bill in any direction other than forwards or backwards, Bill Clinton, the newsmedia who thrives on our fear and pettiness, Rick Roscitt, John travolta, Pat Roberston, George Lucas - leave my childhood alone, fucko! Bono (third time's the charm), L. Ron Hubbard, the kids REALLY responsible for Columbine, the Detroit Red Wings, whoever just farted, old men in shorts, sandals and black socks, Josh, Eric Lindros, Joey Lawrence, Jermaine Dupri, poseurs, Lars Ulrich, Michael Jackson, Pat Buchanan, ugly guys with hot girlfriends, Carson MotherFUCKNG Daly, Napoleonic Jackasses, Mark McGrath, Tommy Lee, Keanu Reeves, Zak de la Rocha, Jim Rome, David Schwimmer - HARD! Deion Sanders, fashion designers, Roger Moore (his Bond sucked!), Steve Vai, DAvid Arquette, you (yeah, you, with the shirt!), Rod Steward, Steve Perry, and anyone who thinks it's cool to have a match in their craw.