Look What I Can Do!

Several things I am oddly proud of:

• I can grow a great goatee;
• I somehow attract extremely talented artists into my circle of friends;
• My ability to leave a skidmark after even the most vigorous, industrious flushes;
• That I always have a nugget of information about obscure topics;
• My death metal vocal stylings;
• My encyclopedic knowledge of the psychologies and philosophies of comic book characters;
• I have never completed any writings of James Joyce;
• That I make people laugh with inappropriate comments;
• That no one can insult me as well as I can;
• My belches are both sonorous and have surprising longevity;
• That I can enjoy with equal fervor Spice Girls and Slayer, especially one after the other;
• I have expressive eyebrows.

So, whaddaya got?

-Zeepdoggie