While discussing Act II Scene 4 of Romeo and Juliet, I referred to Romeo as “a pussy.” This upset a woman in my class, and she told me so during our break. She began to tell me all about the strengths of the pussy and how I was wrong to use it like I did, and that I was degrading women.
I don’t use the word “pussy” to describe the vagina. Ask any lover of mine; they will tell you that I never referred to the vagina as a pussy. I cannot remember saying to any of my friends that I needed some pussy. It’s a fucking disgusting, weak, damp word that is totally unfit for the description of the vagina. Vaginas are the most important things in my life. Without them, I would have no motivation to do anything. Hell, I wouldn’t even be here without a vagina; I wore it like a hat at my very first birthday. I can’t disrespect that with a word like “pussy.” For that most wonderful of human anatomical structures, I use two words: the public word vagina, and a private term that I share only with those who have a vagina that I am taking a vested interest in. In my lexicon, whenever someone is being weak-willed, callow and foolish, they are being a pussy. A man or a woman can be a pussy, just like someone being stupidly stubborn and over-sensitive is being a dick, regardless of the position of the toilet seat in their bathroom. The woman in my class and her inability to understand that I mean no disrespect to women or their vaginas was a total dick tonight.
I tried to explain this, and I wasn’t getting through. Some of it was her inability to accept my reasoning, and some of it was my fault. To get my attention at break, the young woman hit me on the shoulder before I saw her coming. If someone touches me uninvited, I adrenalize; I get ready to fight or run (and the way things have been going lately, you can tell the predilection). So I was definitely shorter with her than I should have been. And in the process of defending myself, I snapped at the prof. I apologized later, but i doubt it made a difference.
So I got the class thinking I am a chauvinist, I shot myself in the foot with Professor Hottie, and now I am worked up and I cannot sleep.
I am such a fucking pussy.
-Zeepdoggie
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4 comments:
Eh, I'm not offended. I'm more concerned with why you think Romeo' a puss.
Well, read just about the entire play and Romeo comes across as pretty much a pushover to whatever whim he's feeling. He isn't the most assertive guy in the play.
Oh, and a little note: the woman who got pissed at me for using pussy never objected to my calling several male characters dicks over the course of this semester. You know the best part of having no standards? Not having to worry about double standards.
-Z.
Eh, Romeo's just the sensitive, artistic type. Chicks dig that. And it's not his fault Mercutio outshines him at every turn. Now, there's a hottie.
Dicks are lovely things, too. I've certainly made many decisions for their sake.
They may dig it, but it has no shelf life; what they dig is someone who can pay for dinner more than once in a while and understands that nice things cannot be bought with poetry.
Vaginas are soooo much better than cocks. And this is coming from someone who has a really hard time keeping his hands off of his cock.
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