Retail during the holidays. Yay.
All of our customers have one thing on their minds: size. Size of bags, boxes, and other stuff.
“You could fit four small children in this bag. Sounds good for Christmas!”
Customer: “Are your boxes big?”
Me: “Oh, yeah! Our boxes are really deep!”
And as we all know, selling is all about sexy!
Hot Wheels, to attractive female customer and whether she should buy an ivory coat:
“It depends on the person. It depends on, uh…well, how dirty you get.” (smiles lecherously).
Watching a customer walk away, with the Cock-Sucking Mohican:
“Her legs are thinner than my dick. Which is pretty thin for a leg but pretty thick for…hey, where are you going?
“My breath is kicking like a drowning whore.”
“No exchanges in Hell. This isn’t Wall Street!”
There’s your random blather concerning the holidays in Hell. Are you happy now?
::GringO::
About Us
- Zeepdoggie & GringO
- Chicago, Illinois, United States
- There are two of us, we bloggers. First, there is Zeepdoggie, who is best summed up with the quote, "full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." He's sometimes funny. Then there is GringO, who does the art thing well, is more often the funny one, and has exceptionally poor customer service skills, so don't ask him for shit. We are not a couple, despite what everyone suggests. We have in common: hatred of retail, being broke, musical tastes, unformulaic comedy,and hyperaggressive tendencies. The things we differ on: who we find attractive (sometimes), family upbringing, future goals (or lack thereof), artistic talent, and our ability to grow facial hair (one day, GringO, one day...).
City of Chicago
Ground Zero
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