16 June 2006

What am I, cancer?

I'm going to a wedding this weekend. It's my first wedding that I am going to as a single man. I am not in any type of shape for a relationship, so hunting for a date is out of the question. So, I was thinking along the lines of a possible hook-up or something, at least a dance partner. But the bride, who I am friends with, tells me that "(u)nfortunately for you, I think all of the single chicks already know you. [...] Sorry dude, you're screwed. Or rather, you're not."
What? Where did this come from? I don't get it. Do I have a bad rep or something? And how did I get this bad rep?
Just to be clear, I have not dated any one of the women I know will be in attendance. I didn't even hook up with any of them (I remember a time when I had no idea what "hooking up"meant. I miss that.). As near as I can tell, I haven't dated many friends of the people in attendance. I date outside of the circle, just to avoid that whole Eskimo-esque dating incest thing. And I am friends with a majority of my exes. Hell, my ex-wife still talks to me voluntarily! If any woman on this planet has a right to hate me, it's her; and she thinks I'm a good guy.
So, what the hell? I wish it didn't bother me, but it does. Because, unlike all of the other BS that may be said about me, there is very little truth in this. I just wish I knew where it came from. There are plenty of other guys who have been major assholes to their women and their men, moreso than me. I am not free from blame; I have definitely been a jerk in the past. But none of the women in this particular circle have any right to say so, at least not from first hand (and for most, second hand) experience. I worship the women that are kind enough to grace me with their presence. I spoil, and I give them the control over the relationship.
Now I'm all wound up. At least I'm not feeling depressed anymore.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you might just be......